Today I was standing at the sing washing dishes when I observed a squirrel in the backyard. I looked out to see this little guy furtively looking around. Then, when he felt the coast was clear, he picked up a nut and proceeded to bury it in his chosen location. After the nut was deposited in the hole he dug, he took his two front paws (is that what squirrels have?) and gathered the grass and clippings from the lawn over the location so it made the ground appear undisturbed. He proceeded to do this two more times while I watched him. As I smiled and turned back to my dishes, I was suddenly struck by an intense realization that this is how I treat my sins. I look around furtively to see if anyone is watching. “No? Good, let me just bury it over here and no one will know about it. People will not see it, I’ve hidden it underground. I can come back and retrieve it whenever I am ready for it again or need it.”
The only difficulty with this thinking is that there is someone, the One, who is always watching. The one who more than anything else wants me to uncover those sins, bring them to Him, to relieve me of the burden of thinking I am the only one who knows of them and I alone am responsible for rooting out and cleansing myself of the stain they leave on my soul. Yesterday I was reminded about a quote from my favorite books from childhood, Anne of Green Gables, “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.” I was quoting it in context of some incidents with my kids and had shared the quote with someone and said, “I am so thankful for second, third, and 70×7 chances.” Even if I fail in the call tonight to lay down my sins at the foot of the cross, my Father in Heaven, who sees me, will call me again tomorrow morning to give me another opportunity to let Him lead me to a deeper and freer relationship with Him. I don’t have to have that burden, like that squirrel, of remembering where all my sins are buried and if they might suddenly become exposed for all the world to see. I have the sacraments to help me release them and to start fresh.
~ The Reluctant Widow
