Monday night I went out to dinner with all three of my siblings. My two sisters were taking off the next day for Asia. One will stay there because it’s where she lives and works, the other will be back stateside in a month. She will spend about 48 hours in my hometown then head to Tampa to start the next chapter in her story. My brother, who is just 25 yrs old, lives in town but I rarely see him. He’s got a job and a busy social life. It was a real treat for all four of us to hang out. I even got the grand tour of the apartment my brother moved into last weekend. He graciously let my sisters and I give him decorating tips. He wasn’t going to get a dining room table because he’d just eat on his sofa. We were appalled. I said, “Bubs. You are dating multiple women right now (don’t get me started on that subject). Presumably you will like one of them enough to make dinner for her some night. She will not appreciate and/or enjoy eating on the sofa. It’s not romantic.” I think he’s going to get one of those square pub tables. It’s a good compromise.
I was riding with him in the car and told him that I was a bit jealous of my sisters because although single again, I don’t get to live the single, care-free life I used to live. He said, “Yeah, but they didn’t marry the love of their life. You did.” True. The comment led to a discussion about re-marriage and would I consider it. I know some of my children really miss having a dad, and they have asked me to just get married again so they can have a dad. Of course I explain that it’s not that easy and also it’s not really about them, if you know what I mean. I told my brother that it’s not about My Love being so perfect a man who no one could ever live up to him. He wasn’t perfect. I am not perfect. We were perfect for each other. We knew each others’ faults, accepted them, and had the utmost respect for each other, in addition to deep love.
It was more than that though. He saw me. He saw ME. And he loved me. Not just “he saw me and loved me anyway.” He saw me and he loved me. He loved ME.
~ The Reluctant Widow
